Love At First Glance (Love At Firsts Book 1) Read online

  “Something like that.” He grins with what is supposed to be an innocent smile but actually looks creepy.

  “You creep.” I smile.

  “I’ll approve of the guy who won’t be a dickhead and will fight for you. If he’s not willing to risk everything to be with you then doesn’t deserve you. Simple as that.”

  “How in the hell am I meant to meet a guy like that? Besides the men in books, there’s no man like that in existence. I’m screwed!”

  “There will be one. He will care about you and will accept your craziness and me. If he really loves you, he’ll accept all of you and won't mind our friendship. He’ll love you as hard as you’ll love him and he’ll be welcomed into our little family. Until that guy shows up, I’m going to have fun messing with them. It’s too funny scaring them when they see how close we are.” He smirks.

  “Asshole.” I glare at him.

  “So about those amazing curves of yours,” he imitates his friends, “are you going to listen to the dipshit and starve yourself or are we going to have some food? I’m ordering Chinese or pizza, you pick. Fuck, I bet you haven’t had anything since breakfast.” He frowns in disapproval.

  I sigh and glare at him yet again. He’s right, he knows it and I know it. I know I’m not fat, I have curves and I’m ok with them. I just hate the way Adam has been making me feel about my weight recently.

  “So?”

  “Both.” I grin sheepishly.

  “That’s my girl.” He smiles and doesn’t bother asking me what I want. He orders our usual half pepperoni, extra jalapeno and cheese, and half pineapple and ham pizza from our favorite pizza place. He then rings our favorite Chinese and orders fried rice, dumplings and orange chicken with chop soy.

  I grab plates and chopsticks from the kitchen and head to the living room, setting them on the coffee table. Spencer follows behind, bringing with him two huge glasses filled with ice and Dr. Pepper, one of my many weaknesses. I grab the remote control and flick through Netflix, settling on Unfriended. I can’t bring myself to watch a movie that will make me use my brain. I just want to enjoy myself and disconnect from the fucked up reality that is my life at the moment.

  Before starting the film, I go upstairs to the guestroom to change into something more comfortable and binge TV watching appropriate.

  I wash my face in the bathroom and remove my makeup. I’ve spent so many nights here that I have a stash of my beauty products here. I look at my reflection in the mirror and wonder where it went wrong with Adam that he felt the need to cheat on me. I'm quite short, standing at five feet five inches; I'm curvy in all the right places. Sure, I don't have the perfect flat stomach, I love food too much for that. My big green eyes and red hair make me stand out. I remember a girl in college saying she'd pay a fortune to get my hair color, so I guess it can't be that bad. I sigh to myself, thinking I'm being ridiculous for putting myself down when the problem was Adam, not me.

  After finishing up in the bathroom, I grab my pajama pants and a tank top and get changed. It might seem weird that I have clothes at a guy’s place that I’m not in a romantic relationship with but it seems pretty normal for us. I never had a crush or any feelings for him, at least no romantic feelings. Did I want to fuck him at some point? I’m not going to lie, yes, but anyone would. He’s so fucking hot. It’s crossed my mind a couple of times, but I’m not willing to risk our friendship for one night of sex.

  I plug my phone in to charge and see a couple of messages from Adam:

  Adam: Please forgive me, it meant nothing to me.

  Adam: I love you Haven, please don’t leave me.

  Adam: You can’t throw away 3 years of our lives like that!

  Adam: I dumped her, please come back. I didn't mean any of what I said; I love you the way you are.

  There are ten more messages all in the same style, all begging for forgiveness. I read every one, but they aren’t swaying my decision. My life is better off without a lying cheating son of a bitch in it. I leave my phone on the nightstand; I want a quiet night without any unwanted distraction. On my way down the stairs, I slip into Spencer's room and I snatch one of his hoodies. There’s nothing more comfortable than a guy’s hoodie, especially if you can still smell him and his aftershave on it.

  I walk back to the living room and set up the couch with loads of pillows and a blanket. Being October, it’s getting a little chilly so it’s perfect for movie nights with your best friend. It’s the perfect season: Lattes, leaves everywhere, cozy sweaters and nights in by the fire with my best friend. What more could I ask for?

  “Feast for two.” Spencer walks in the living room, bringing me back to reality.

  “Just what I need.” I grin and sit on the ground on a big pillow and put my hair up in a messy bun.

  “Oh shit, if you put your hair up before eating, you mean business.”

  “You’re damn right I do!” I smile and open all the containers before taking my first of many slices of pizza. “Good stuff. Just what I needed.” I moan around a mouthful of pizza.

  “It’s good to see you smile.” He kisses my shoulder and digs into his food as we start the movie.

  By the time the movie is over we’ve eaten most of the take out Spencer ordered and drank a bottle of whiskey. The movie was pretty good, we had shouted at the TV, laughed and made fun of how stupid the characters were.

  “Still room for some ice cream?” He chuckles as he sees me rub my food baby belly.

  “Only if it’s Ben & Jerry’s Cherry Garcia.” I grin. It’s our favorite so I know he has a stash in his freezer.

  “You know it’s the only one I have.” He chuckles and disappears in the kitchen, taking the empty containers and dirty plates with him.

  He comes back a few minutes later with a big tub of ice cream, spoons and a bowl of Bernard’s dry food with said feline following behind him.

  “He was crying in the kitchen so I brought him with me.” He grins, clearly proud of himself, and hands me the ice cream before setting Bernard’s bowl down by the couch.

  “You’re going to make someone really happy someday.” I beam at him.

  “As long as I make you happy that’s all that matters.” He replies, returning my smile.

  “You are, but you know what I mean.”

  “I know. Thank you for always being here for me.” He kisses my head smiling.

  “Don’t mention it, you're always there for me too.”

  “You’re all I have, even my family didn’t accept me.” He sighs.

  “I know, neither did mine and they still won’t talk to me unless I stop seeing you.” I frown, disgusted by my own family and their prejudices.

  “I still can’t believe they would do that and I don’t understand them or why you picked me over them,” he says sadly as he digs into the ice cream.

  “It’s simple. You never put me down, bullied me or criticized me and never make me feel like shit or like I’m not a good person. They did. When they made me choose between you and them, the choice was easy and I’ve never regretted it. I still can’t believe how they treated you just because you’re bisexual.”

  “I know. I thought my parents were more open minded than that. They had never criticized anyone for their sexuality before. Hell, they had even approved of my cousin coming out to the entire family and yet they disowned me. At least I’ve got you.” He sighs and then smiles before kissing my head.

  “You'll always have me, you know that. The day you'll get rid of me will be the day the world ends, so you're pretty much stuck with me by your side 'til the end of times,” I tell him seriously but with a hint of humor as I cuddle into him. He wraps his arm around me and pulls me closer.

  “I love you, Have.”

  “I love you too, Spence.”

  We fall into a comfortable silence and watch another horror movie. A classic and one of my personal favorites, Scream.

  By the time the movie ends, I’m exhausted and more than ready for bed. It’s not that late,
but after the day I’ve had, I could sleep for a year.

  “Come on, time for bed,” Spencer says, turning off the TV and getting to his feet.

  “First smart thing you’ve said all day.” I grin sleepily and get up, bending down to pick up a sleeping Bernard.

  “Watch it.” He chuckles and picks up the very empty tub of ice creams and Bernard’s bowl.

  “Pfft, you’d never hurt me so I don’t care about your idle threats.” I smirk at him and laugh when he looks at me with a desperate look on his face.

  “I’ve spoiled you too much. You don’t have any respect for me.” He shakes his head.

  “That’s not true. I respect you. I just luuuurve messing with you.” I kiss his cheek before heading upstairs.

  “Good to know.” He smiles and when we reach the top of the stairs, he pulls me in for a hug. “Sleep tight, Princess.”

  “You too.” I smile hugging him back and walk into the guest room, aka my room. Whenever one of his buddies sleep over, he makes them sleep on the couch, even when I’m not there.

  I set Bernard on the bed and go to the bathroom to start my night time routine. I should probably take a shower but I can’t be bothered, it’ll just have to wait till the morning. I need bed more than I need to be clean.

  I smile and jump on the bed like I used to do when I was younger and giggle at myself. This bed is literally the comfiest one ever. Spencer has always refused to tell me where he got it, no doubt as a ploy to get me to move back in with him, but that would never happen. I love him, but when I lived with him before moving in with Adam it was nightmare for me. I’d rather be stuck in a zombie apocalypse than live, eat and breathe fitness.

  I shuffle under the covers and set my alarm for the morning. Hoping tomorrow will turn out better than today, I turn over and snuggle down under the covers.

  At least Monday is over…

  See, I told you Mondays suck big hairy balls!

  My self-esteem and confidence were already low, but after what happened today? They have gotten even worse.

  My day was fucked up to say the least, but in the end, I have my cat and my best friend and that is all I need. My life might not be perfect at the moment but I’ll be okay.

  I’ve wanted to change how my life is and this is the perfect opportunity to do so.

  Time to say goodbye to Mr. Winston’s boring assistant and the girlfriend to a cheating asshole and say hello to new carefree Haven Lee.

  I’ll be okay…

  Things will get better…

  I’ll learn to love Mondays…

  CHAPTER 2

  Two Weeks Later

  Living with Spencer has been very different, I've stopped buying every little thing that tickled my fancy, I’m eating a lot healthier and have a real breakfast every morning, gone are the days of Starbuck’s amazing cakes and I’m working out every night or going for runs around the park with him. It hasn’t been long, but I can already feel a difference. I can’t see any physical changes yet, but I have more energy and I don’t mind this healthy lifestyle malarkey as much now.

  I am starting to feel like I’m being a bother to him though. He hasn’t brought or invited anyone over and I know he’s had a couple of calls from someone who wanted a night of fun. I feel guilty, but he’s never complained or moaned about it, so I guess it’s not too bad.

  Spencer, being Spencer, he’s always doing and getting me whatever I want or need and it was fine for the first day, but it's becoming too much. I love to do things by myself. I love to cook and, as crazy as it may sound, I don’t mind cleaning all that much. I also love to walk around in my underwear and that’s not exactly something I can do freely here. I’m sure Spence wouldn’t mind, but I wouldn’t feel comfortable and knowing him, he’d rub up against me just to tease me. I need to find somewhere to stay other than here. I just have to find a way to break the news to him, which is going to be fucking hard; he’s most likely going to take it the wrong way.

  The day after I caught Adam cheating, we went to pick up my stuff from my old apartment. Adam was stupid enough to be there when I arrived, but I wasn’t alone. Spencer and one of his bodybuilding buddies were with me, which he didn’t expect. The look of terror on his face when he saw them behind me was priceless. I tried my hardest not to laugh, I promise but I quickly lost my battle and a strangled laugh escaped my lips. Once again, he begged me to come back or at least give him a second chance the entire time we were there. He avoided Spencer and his friend like the plague, walking into another room whenever they walked into the same one as him. He ended up locking himself in the bathroom, either waiting to ambush me when I went to grab my stuff or because he was actually scared of them. I would’ve been if I was in his position. I still cringe when I think back to that day. How could I ever allow myself to be with such an asshole?

  I walk into the bathroom and jump when I see Adam sitting on the edge of the bathtub with his phone in his hand.

  “What the hell are you doing in here?”

  “They’re trying to physically hurt me so I had no choice but to come in here,” he whispers, no doubt worried that they could hear him.

  “Scared of Spencer and Owen? They are the sweetest guys ever!”

  “With you maybe but I swear if looks could kill I’d be dead by now.”

  “Yes, you would be because I’d have killed you yesterday when I found you getting a blowjob in our bed.” I frown, disgusted at the pathetic excuse for a man sitting in front of me.

  “I’m sorry! I never meant for it to happen, but we haven’t had sex in months. I have needs. Thinking back it was a bad idea, but you were never supposed to find out,” he says looking mad that he was caught.

  “So it was all my fault? That is so fucked up. You cheating on me was already disgusting, but you thinking that it was okay because I wasn’t supposed to find out is despicable! You know, I’m glad I caught you. Sure, my ego is hurt, but at least I don't have to endure being around your whiney ass. I need a real man who won’t go out and fuck my so called friend just because I became self-conscious. Whilst I’m at it, I’d get myself checked if I were you, with the amount of dick Cassidy was getting it wouldn’t surprise me if she has a STD, but that’s just a little friendly advice. Do whatever you want. Isn’t that what you’ve always done anyway?” I finish and smile at myself, feeling quite proud that I didn’t lose my temper or cry.

  “Well said, Have,” I hear Spencer say from behind me and a giggle escapes me when I look at Adam’s face which suddenly pales. I step out of the bathroom and let Spencer and Owen in. They lock the door behind themselves and I resume packing all of my things. I hear Spencer yell at Adam, but can’t hear what he's saying. No doubt Spencer scaring the shit out of him. Spence always been overprotective of me and it’s not going to change any time soon, no matter how hard I try to dissuade. I hear a loud thud from the bathroom. I look in that direction and see Spencer and Owen walk with a smug look on their face.

  “Proud of yourself, boys?”

  “Boys?” Owen snorts. “That in there is a boy, we are all men, Baby.”

  “Dude, don’t call her baby, that’s fucking disturbing,” Spencer says as he punches Owen’s shoulder.

  “Yeah, yeah, she’s off limits, I know.” I chuckle at the both of them.

  “You two are worse than girls.” I shake my head and tape up the last box.

  “Are you done?” Spencer asks me, clearly not happy with me either for mocking him or for being in the bathroom with cockface.

  “With what? Mocking you or packing?” I grin smugly.

  “Both.”

  “Boxes yes, mocking you? Never.” I laugh and he pretends to strangle me.

  “One day you won’t leave me with any choice but to really strangle you.”

  “That’ll be a very sad day. Who will you annoy on a daily basis? Besides, you need me to find you a decent date. I have to approve of the person who is worthy of being with a man like you. You need someone who is strong enough to p
ut up with your shit, but is also sensitive enough to show you what love really is.” I smile at him.

  “That’s why I love you.” He wraps me up in his big arms and hugs me tightly.

  “I love you too and I mean it. If you date a bitch, I’ll tell her that she is and needs to get the fuck out of your life. No matter how good you think the sex is, if they’re a bitch, they’re out and if they don't want to understand things, I’ll make them understand.”

  “Don’t tempt me to go out with the first annoying person I find just to see you do that,” he claims as both he and Owen start to laugh.

  “You two are fucking crazy,” I mutter, suppressing a giggle as we start to take my stuff down to Owen’s truck.

  I’m finally moved out from mine and Adam’s apartment, and it feels great. It took me another hour to gather up the courage to dial the magazine Mr. Winston mentioned to me. To my surprise, Mr. Mezrani, the boss, was very nice and seemed happy I called. We arranged an interview for the following day. After a very short interview, he announced that I had gotten the job, despite me not having much experience working for a magazine. I did work for the school paper when I was in high school and in college, but it's not the same and it was a few years ago.

  After only a week out of work I was glad to be getting back into it and do something with my days. I was told that I’d be writing for their music and fashion section, so essentially, I’m being paid to listen to upcoming artists, go to concerts, fashion shows and interviewing some of the artists and designers and then write my review. What a terrible job!

  I started this past Monday, and so far, everybody is really nice. It’s a small office, but I don’t mind it at all. We are a team of five. There's Matt, the team leader, Jorge, Shane, Alicia and me. I don’t feel awkward being around so many men in such a small place. I’m usually quite shy around men, other than Spencer. I can’t flirt, I stumble on my words and make myself look like an ass so I gave up a long time ago. Not that it would work on any of the men working here, they all have significant others. There is a real sense of family in the office and everyone has welcomed me with open arms even though they’ve been working together for years and I’ve just started. Matt is the one I connected with the most. He took me under his wing and showed me the ropes. I see him as a big brother. He's the life of the office and is the sweetest guy, making sure everybody is alright and happy. I’m starting to feel grateful for losing my old job.