Love At First Glance (Love At Firsts Book 1) Read online

  “Lower the camera a bit.” He smirks.

  “It’s not a peep show, Spence.” I chuckle and put on a matching deep red lace set of underwear.

  “Too bad. I could even jack off and you wouldn’t even know.”

  “Gross!” Although it would be hot knowing that he’s jerking off whilst watching me. “What?”

  “Nothing. Keep going, you’re going to be late.”

  “Spence…”

  “You sure you’re not blonde?” He snickers.

  “Why do you say that?” He’s totally confusing me this morning.

  “Look behind you.”

  I turn quickly, half expecting a serial killer to be standing behind me, but when I see what Spencer was talking about, I’m mortified.

  “Oh, for fuck’s sake. You saw everything.”

  “Yes, I did. Not a smart move to place your camera across from you full length mirror.” He chuckles.

  “I’m never going to live this down.” I sigh and quickly pull on my jeans.

  “Nope, never. But it’ll make an amazing background.” He smirks looking pleased with himself.

  “What?” I look at him horrified.

  “What? You have a nice ass. This picture I just took has your beautiful face and your magnificent ass. It’s too much perfection in one image.” He smiles wide.

  “Creep! Please tell me you're joking.” I ask embarrassed.

  “Do you really think I'd do something like that to you? Besides what if someone takes my phone? They'd see your ass and I'm not sharing that.”

  “You promise?”

  “Yes, I could have filmed you when you were twerking and I didn't.” He smirks.

  “Oh for fuck's sake, don’t remind me of that again.” I shake my head cringing.

  “Oh yeah, that again.” He snickers.

  “I have to go or I’m really going to be late.”

  “Okay, Love. I’ll pick you up from work.”

  “Sounds good to me.” I smile buttoning up my flannel shirt and quickly put on some make up.

  “See you tonight. Good luck, you’re going to rock their socks off.” He snickers.

  “Smartass, see you later, love your face.” I blow him a kiss.

  “Love yours more.” He winks and we hang up.

  I quickly finish getting ready and head off to my interview. Ready to take on the world.

  CHAPTER 19

  After The Interview

  I smile feeling quite proud of myself as I get into my Fiat and turn it on. The interview with the Untamed Shadows went really well. The guys were amazing. They put me at ease straight away and even had food and drinks ready for the morning. What I didn’t expect was their manager offering for me to stay for a rehearsal and also for the band to record a few exclusive clips for the magazine’s website.

  The guys seemed really pleased with how the interview went and kept saying how my questions were original which was reassuring. At least I didn’t look like a total fool.

  I plug my phone into my car’s console and start driving to the office but I notice the time and decide to give Matt a call and see if I have to drop in at the office or not. By the time I’d make it back, I’d have less than an hour left of the day. I’d much rather work from home for the rest of the day.

  “Denver Male Escorts Services, Matt speaking, how may I help you honey bunny?” A dead serious Matt answers after two rings.

  “I want a tall, nicely built man with a bit of a scruff and a big, pierced dick for tonight, do you think you have anyone available?” I smirk deciding to play along.

  “My, my, Miss, you do know what you want, don’t you?” I can hear the smirk in his voice.

  “You have no idea how bad I want it, Sir.” I giggle.

  “Oh that’s just disturbing! I always pictured you as this innocent young thing, not this depraved woman who wants a big pierced dick,” Matt almost shrieks down the phone.

  “Did I shock you?”

  “Yes. You did. I’m scarred for life.”

  “Good.” I snicker. “How long since you’ve wanted to pull that prank on me?”

  “Since the first sex talk we had. You were blushing so hard, I thought this would be hilarious, but the jokes on me, you’re one of us now.” He chuckles.

  “See, I’m not that innocent or prudish anymore.”

  “I hear that, yet to see it, but not sure I want to see you getting fucked to be honest.” He makes a gagging sound.

  “I’m outraged!” I feign being shocked.

  “You’ll always be innocent to me, it’s like you’re my kid, I want the best for you and to protect you. I can’t help it.”

  “You’re only, what? Five years older than me?”

  “Yeah, something like that. I don’t know why I feel this way, I just have this need to protect you.”

  “I don’t mind. It’s a nice having a fatherly figure around.” I chuckle.

  “Now, now, I’m not that old. You wound me, Gorgeous.”

  “I’m sorry.” I giggle.

  “What can I do for you? How did the interview go? You were out long enough.”

  “It went amazingly well. I even have footage for the website.”

  “That’s awesome. Proud of you kiddo.” He chuckles.

  “Awe thanks, Dad. Anyway, I wanted to know if I had to come in for the rest of the day. I’m still forty minutes away.”

  “Depends if I’m in a good or bad mood.”

  “I know you’re in a good mood or you wouldn’t have tried to pass yourself as a male escort service.”

  “Damnit!” He chuckles. “Of course you don’t have to come in. It’d be pretty pointless. Besides, Mr. Mezrani isn't here so you're safe.”

  “Thank you. You’re the best.”

  “I know, but keep reminding me, I love the ego boost.”

  “Don’t we all know it?” I chuckle.

  “Be nice.”

  “I’m always nice.” I smile.

  “I know. Oh your soon-to-be boyfriend came over today. He was quite disappointed that you weren’t in and I ended up eating your sushi.” He chuckles.

  “Spencer came over with food?” I whine, gutted that I didn’t get to see him and that he didn’t call me.

  “Yeah, he looked quite upset.”

  “Any idea why?” I ask worried.

  “Yes, but he made me promise not to tell.”

  “Matt, that’s just not fair. If you know why he’s upset then tell me.” I’m getting incredibly annoyed with people openly keeping things from me.

  “Look, just think about all that’s been going on lately. Him getting pissed about Valentine and you being friends, about you having fun without him, about you being all hot and bothered by Valentine.” He explains, sounding as exasperated as I am.

  “He’s very jealous and overprotective.”

  “Yes, that’s pretty obvious, but why is the real question.”

  “Because I’m his only family left and he wants to protect me?” I ask because at this point I’m completely lost.

  “Think again.”

  “Ugh, I’m starting to hate all of you for keeping things from me like this.” I hit the horn a few times as a lovely thank you to the fucker who just cut me off. “Fucking dickhead.”

  “Me?” He chuckles.

  “Yes, but also the dickwad who just cut me off.”

  “I’m wounded.” He sighs dramatically.

  “Not even sorry.” I chuckle.

  “Bitch.”

  “Asshat.”

  “Love you.”

  “Love you too.” I smile. “So? About Spence?”

  “I’m not going to tell you, if you can’t figure it out yourself then hopefully he’ll tell you.” He sighs.

  “I don't know Matt, this all secrecy thing is really starting to piss me off. Erm, he feels the same way I do?” I joke, not believing what I just said, but it’s the only thing I can possibly think of that'd make any sense.

  “Ding, ding, ding, we have a winner.�
�� He chuckles.

  “No he doesn’t.” I hit the brakes.

  “He does, why else do you think he would be that pissed off with Valentine?”

  “I don’t know, because he can be a bit of a dick sometimes.” I shrug.

  “Yeah, that too, but we all are. You’ve been a bitch to him too.”

  “He told you.” I sigh.

  “Yeah, he’s hurting. He doesn’t know how to tell you how he feels. He has the same concerns as you.”

  “Well, fuck me, I didn’t expect that. What a Monday!” I exclaim, feeling dizzy with all this new knowledge about Spencer.

  “See, Mondays can be good.” I can hear the smile in his voice.

  “That’s for sure. Spencer always manages to make my Mondays better.” I sigh happily.

  “Go get him, Tiger.” He chuckles.

  “Thanks, Honey bunny.” I snicker.

  “My pleasure, Chica.” He chuckles and hangs up.

  My emotions are going crazy right now, my thoughts are so confused and my heart is pounding at the speed of light. I decide to call him to let him know I’ll be a bit late because I’m stuck in traffic. It's probably one of the first times I'm actually nervous to call Spencer.

  To my despair, he doesn’t answer so I leave him a message.

  “Hey Spence, it’s Have. I’m done with work. Sorry it took so long, it was amazing. I’ll tell you everything tonight when I see you. I’m so excited. I’ll call you back when I’m on my way to yours, I’m stopping home quickly as soon as I’m out of this traffic nightmare. Sorry I wasn’t in for lunch but Matt was rather happy to have sushi with you. I’ll see you in a bit. Love you.” I hang up hoping he’s okay and not too upset and not sticking his dick in someone else.

  After over almost two hours, I make it home. The journey should have taken me only forty minutes. Damn traffic. I park in my spot in the underground garage and catch the elevator to my floor, I’m far too drained to walk up the stairs. I’m even considering asking Spencer to come to mine, order food and watch a movie on Netflix. I am that tired. I make it to my door and open it; glad I’m finally home. I shrug off my jacket and my shoes by the door and walk to the kitchen to fill in Bernard’s bowl, but I see that it’s been barely touched from this morning. I pick him up, worried that something is wrong with him.

  “What’s wrong fluffy one? Not hungry?” I kiss his head and he rubs his against mine. I turn around to get something from the fridge to try and get him to eat, but I see a letter on the fridge from Spencer. “That’s why it looks barely touched. He fed you.” I smile and kiss his head. I pick up the letter and get a weird feeling. It’s not unusual of Spencer come check on Bernard while I’m at work, but knowing what Matt said, I’m wary that something could be wrong.

  I slowly open up the letter and start reading.

  Haven,

  I thought long and hard before writing this. I’m not sure it’s the best thing to do, but it’s been on my mind for a while now. Yes, since Valentine came into our lives, don’t roll your eyes at me. Call me a selfish prick, I don’t care. I probably am. The truth is, I feel like I’ve been played.

  We have both been acting strange and it’s ruined what we had. I know things have been better these past couple of weeks, but truth is, I was just trying really hard to act like my old self for you. I wanted us to be more than just friends. I’ve wanted it since we were seventeen but you’ve always seen me as your best friend and brother. You kept saying that we would work so well together but it would be awkward because we were so close. I guess my feelings for you and the jealousy I felt regarding the other men in your life have brought us to this point.

  What really made me decide to write this letter is what you’re doing right now and I’m sat here, listening to it and it’s making me sick. Especially after what was said last night. I can’t believe you’d go back on your words like that and do this to me. I thought you valued our friendship more than that.

  I hope he was worth it.

  I’ll love you forever, even though it’ll probably kill me, but I can’t do this anymore. I can’t handle him in your life. I’m well aware that we aren’t a couple and I have no say in whether you can hang out with someone or not, but this is ruining me.

  I need to take a break from us. I’m sorry that I’m telling you this through a letter, but it’s easier than telling you face to face. I’m not as strong as you think I am.

  I’ll be in touch when I’m back in town.

  Love you always.

  Spencer xx

  I look at the letter with tears streaming down my face. I am stunned by the words written on this piece of paper that I want to rip apart instead of keeping it like the others. I don’t understand half of what he’s saying, but it’s pretty clear that he’s confessing his feelings for me. Why is he leaving me though?

  For once, I don’t overthink but react. I get up, put my shoes on and sprint out of my apartment after grabbing my keys and locking the door. I don’t have time to dwell on this stupid fucking letter. I need to get to his place before he leaves. I can’t let him go, not without an explanation.

  I rush to my car and speed to his house. I keep trying to call him as I drive, but it keeps going to voicemail after two rings, he’s no doubt ignoring my calls. I probably break all the speed limits to get to Spencer’s place, but right now I couldn’t care less.

  I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding when I see his car parked in the driveway and the lights on in his house. I park behind in the driveway and get out of my car. We are finally getting to the bottom of this right now. I won’t lose him without a fight.

  I walk up to his front door and ring the doorbell. He doesn’t answer at first so I keep ringing and pounding on the door. I swear if he’s with someone I am castrating him where he stands. I’m about to knock on the door again when he opens the door wearing his trademark sweatpants and nothing else. I take in his beautiful face for a second and note the snarl that is marring his handsome features. Well that doesn’t bode well.

  “Such a surprise to see you here. Alone. Your boyfriend not with you?” he says angrily and sounds incredibly drunk. This is going to be interesting.

  “What are you talking about? What boyfriend?” I ask him.

  “Valentine.” He spits as he stands in the doorway with his arms crossed over his chest, effectively blocking me from him and from going inside.

  “What about him now?” I ask feeling exacerbated at the idea of having to have this talk again. My heart is pounding in my chest, I feel numb and yet I’m boiling with rage at the fact that he’d cast me aside so easily because he’s jealous.

  “I know you two fucked. I can’t believe you would do that after you told me you were in love with me and that you’d never date him,” he says, getting angrier by the second.

  “Uh, no, we didn’t fuck. I told you I was in love with you?” I ask bewildered. When the hell did I do that?

  “Don’t act like nothing happened. I know you fucked him,” he yells at me. I’ve never see him like this before, he’s actually scaring me. His eyes are dead, and he’s looks like he’s been crying. He’s drunk and is shaking with rage in front of me.

  “Who told you that?” I ask calmly, not wanting to add fuel to the fire.

  “Nobody, I heard it for myself. It was quite a performance. He did make you scream louder than I did when we were faking it. But that’s all we seem to be doing; faking it. Fake relationship, fake sex, fake everything.” He punches the wall by the doorframe as tears fall down his perfect face.

  “Calm down, Spence. What are you going on about? I have no idea what you’re talking about.” I try to touch his arm, but he quickly pulls away from me.

  “I’ll gladly refresh your memory, but you should get yourself checked if you don’t remember fucking your boyfriend earlier. Oh and you also get checked for STDs, who knows what the guy has with the amount of women he’s had in his bed. I can’t believe you fell for his shit after everything we’ve h
eard.” His voice is void of any emotion.

  “Again, we didn-”

  “I went to the magazine because I wanted to surprise you with lunch. You know, spend some time with my best friend, but you weren’t there. I tried to call you, but you weren’t answering so I went to your place to check on you, just in case you had gotten sick and forgot to call work since you were still feeling rough from your clubbing antics. Anyway, I went in and not two minutes after, I hear loud moans and screams coming from next door that it sounded a hell of a lot like you.” He points at me and I notice that a large bandage covers his ribs.

  “What happened to your ribs?” I look at him worried, taking a step closer.

  “Doesn’t matter,” he says, his voice cold.

  “Yes, it does,” I say through gritted teeth.

  “No, trust me, it doesn’t matter anymore.”

  I look at him feeling fed up with his bullshit and mystery. “I don’t know what you think you heard, but I wasn’t at Valentine’s place. I interviewed Untamed Shadows and it ran on a lot longer than planned because they offered me the chance to stay for their rehearsal and get exclusive footage for the website. It took me two fucking hours to drive back home in rush hour traffic and when I got home I read your letter, I drove over here straight away. So please tell me when exactly I had time to fuck Valentine? I can’t believe you would throw over twenty years of friendship out the window like that. I’m not leaving until we talk this through. I don’t give a single fuck if you like it or not.” I stand my ground, knowing he usually caves when I stand up to him.

  “Friendship…” He sighs and walks inside the house, leaving the door open. I walk in after him and close the door. At least he’s letting me in. “Did you read the letter? All of it?”

  “Yes. Spence, I don’t know what’s going through your mind, but can we just talk, I can’t do this cat and mouse chase over and over again. What’s with you saying that I’ve been leading you on?”

  “What do you think? Why do you think I’m so fucking pissed about you fucking that asshole? Why do you think it is fucking killing me that you did it after you told me you were in love with me?” he yells.